I’m not here to preach, I’m not here to try to convince you, I’m not here to judge you.
I’m here to speak to you with an open heart and talk to you about an Unconditional Love.
I lived an empty life trying to fill an emptiness on my own not knowing that there was already someone that was willing to fill in the gap in my life. I felt empty, alone, abandoned, betrayed, disappointed and ashamed. I was the youngest out of five siblings in my house, raised by just one parent. So, love was limited!
You know, I just thought that within time it wouldn’t matter but seeing my mom’s struggles, working two jobs to provide for all our needs made it hard. Every time I would see movies, tv commercials, went to parties and weddings seeing the way a father looks at his daughter. The way he would dance with her, kiss her on her forehead, smile when she smiles and just loving his daughter as a father should. The thought of it caused me pain and all I did was cry. I didn’t think it would bother me but as I started getting older I realized that I had an internal grudge, rage and anger because the lack of love of a father in my life.
I started to blame him for all our hardship, struggles and problems which were many due to his lack of presence. The way my brothers just lived a street life for many years and still do now. We’ve suffered a lot not having a stable and equipped home, but we managed. As a young child I was exposed to alcohol, drugs, parties and what this world would say, “the good life”. Not! Through my sister’s husband I started to visit his church and there was a new urge in me to know more of God. I started to understand that it was not about religion, being religious, being perfect it was about relationship, repentance, conviction, surrender and love.
Long story short, I grew closer and closer to God and fell in love. How? Reading the bible and letting truth come inside my life, allowing the Holy Spirit to take over as I thought I had wisdom when I didn’t have any at all. After many years of struggles and obstacles God finally told me something important. It was during a Sunday Church service that I went to the altar for prayer and my Pastor at that time prayed for me. All I heard was “My love is enough”! It blew my mind away, my heart wanted to come out of my chest, my legs shivering as if it was ice cold in the church. Many thoughts and feeling started uprising within me. Understanding why! I will not disclose everything I went through in my life, but I can assure you that now that I can see the truth God was with me the entire way.
I just needed to seek him, call out to him, surrender it all and accept him in my life. In my darkness Jesus is my light, in my weakness he is my strength, my suffering he turns it to joy, he lifts up my spirit when I’m feeling down, he provides for me and reminds me that he will always be with me as the scriptures say in Matthew 28:20,…..” teaching them to obey everything that I’ve commanded you. And remember, I am with you each day until the end of the age.”
I came from a broken family, but Jesus made me whole, so I am no longer broken but reconstructed! “I needed, Jesus”!
The Scriptures reassures that Christ’s sacrifice is the ultimate way of demonstrating love. His death and resurrection were all for us, so that we don’t have to live a life without love. Read it, John 3:16! So, I don’t want to finish my short testimony without letting you know the results. I finally did speak to my biological father because the Holy Spirit led me to do so. We don’t have the best relationship, but we do speak, and I forgave him and now I even pray for him.
Jesus, unconditional love for us is beyond our perception, beyond our understanding. You might ask me, “how can I believe in someone or a love that I can’t see”? I tell you then, “it’s just like the wind we can feel it, but we can’t see it”? God loves you, don’t let the struggles in life not even this world stops you in seeing and feeling his love in all your being and your family. I have a beautiful family and we live for Christ for he died for us. Give him the opportunity to show you how much he loves you.
Evangelist Tatiana I. Castellano
Iglesia Cristiana Ciudad de Justicia, El Tabor
Conectados por la Fe Magazine © Copyrights 2018